Pressing Roses by Mrs. C

Ever wonder if you're living your life 50 pages ahead of where you actually are in life? I try so hard not to live for the future, and to live for the now, yet I find myself always wondering what's coming. Tonight, I felt almost somber, as I pondered over sweet memories of my pregnancy and entrance into motherhood, nearly 5 years ago. I remember, when I was pregnant with my sweet Jadyn, I couldn't wait to deliver her, hold her, love her, know her. And now, I am so bittersweet over her upcoming 5th birthday next month. Where did my baby go? I remember holding and cuddling her, but I also remember being so excited for her to smile, roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, talk. I couldn't wait for her to make these milestones, to watch her bloom. Yet, here I am, getting ready to send her into the world of school and growing up and friend circles, fads, peer pressure... I'm excited, but just wanting to slow down. I'm excited for her to start school, but I want to keep her home. I'm excited for her to branch out and make friends, but I want to just cuddle her and hold her. I just want to go back to page 3 for a moment and relive it, not through memory, but in real time. I just wish I could slow down and smell the roses at my leisure. And I want to be able to pick up my book at whatever page I want and live it for that moment, even if rereading.